Posted by Wendy B. on June 19, 2001, at 8:18:53
In reply to I'm too scared to ask for help, posted by Rach on June 13, 2001, at 7:41:14
> (...)
> To all those that know me, I am sorry for disappointing you. I can't even post this at lotl or haven because I don't want to admit to you guys that things aren't good. Because they were just starting to get brilliant, and I was just starting to get happy.
>
> I really don't know what happened.
Dear Rach,
I hope you are feeling somewhat better, I know it takes a lot out of you. Lately I have been very up up up, then crashing immediately afterward. Very high, then very low. It almost makes the lows worse, because you know there ARE highs. Does this make sense?
Anyway, please post an update, you wrote last Thursday, how was the weekend? Did you ever write or call the office? I think Willow is right about the work - when we're so badly off, taking on a full-time job can be too hard, and we set ourselves up for failure. Yes, to answer your later question, I agree, we do set ourselves up to fail. We're not afraid of it - we WANT it. Or rather, it's the only pattern we know, so we keep repeating it.
A very good friend who only a few months ago went on an SSRI, called last night. She had been given 2 weeks notice from her job as a software salesperson four hours earlier. She looked at it as an opportunity for growth in a new direction (working for herself), she was almost happy that she had "failed" at the job... So I guess it's all how you look at it, from your own personal "lenses."
But, sorry to ramble. Do take only a part-timer till you get on a steadier emotional plane. I do think it's necessary to get out of the house, depressives need some kind of schedule, or they just never kick their asses (me included) out in public...With a great big hug & truly hope you are feeling better this week,
WendyPS: Sorry, but in your original post, you mention "lotl" and "haven." I think I know that haven is "safehaven," do they have a bulletin board too? But I don't have a clue what "lotl" is, can you educate me? Thanks...
poster:Wendy B.
thread:6414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010611/msgs/6546.html