Posted by Anna Laura on June 11, 2001, at 2:41:17
In reply to Can one think their way out of major depression?, posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 9, 2001, at 0:57:53
> Hi everybody,
>
> I have suffered from major, clinical depression
> since I have been 9 years old. I have always wanted
> to glean some of the rewards & joys in life that
> some others seem to have,
> (eg. productivity, a happy marriage, good sex,
> earning good money, and being relatively anxiety-free). I cannot tell if my therapist is right or not,
> but she seems to feel that I can "think my way" out of
> depression with love and the right attitude. And she
> feels that I am now ready to start coming off of the meds that I have been on for 23 years.
> Also, there are times when I can actually get
> the energy to wake up earlier in the morning. But
> most of the time, I cannot... because it is very, very
> hard for me to fall asleep at night, unless I take
> addictive medicines like Xanax and Restoril. So,
> she feels that when my sleeping patterns are "out of wack" it is because I have bad habits and that I am
> undisciplined; she seems to think that if I can get up early every once in a while, then I should be able to do it all the time. She also seems
> to think that self-love and God are the main factors
> that will get me over my depression.
> Now, I am not discounting anything that she is
> saying to me; all I am saying is that "talk" like this
> tends to make me feel much more frustrated and depressed, as if I am lazy or do not want to succeed, or that I just want to be resistent (She says that
> because my IQ is high; I am a genius at staying depressed). I know that I do work very hard at
> changing my thought patterns, but often my brain
> feels like molasses. I do everything I can to try
> to fall asleep earlier, etc...
>
>
>
> Maybe she is right about
> all of this; however, I would be grateful to anyone
> who wants to respond.
>
> GlennHi Glenn, Hi All,
This is my first post on Social Babble (i've been posting on Psycho Babble only).
First, my usual premise: english it's not my language, i'm posting from Europe, so pardon me if i make mistakes.Glenn,
I'm really sorry you've been suffering so much .I feel lucky compared to you: at least i tasted life until i was 21 years old (i'm 32 right now).
I think changing cognitive patterns plays a role, a big role for someone, a little one for others.
For some of depressed people it's really the key to overcome the disease.
I remember i read on The Becks' book on Cognitive Therapy about a woman who has been suffering from major depression for a looong time (throughout her adult life) who got cured with cognitive therapy (basically it's about thinking yourself out of depression, changing old thinking habits and so on).
But some of us are not responding to that. I think that the solutions/possibilities are unlimited and countless, every one of us has to find a personal solution that fits his/her state of mind i guess. As far as i am concerned, it works only when i'm mildly depressed.
Last Summer i succeeded in thinking myself out of depression and took a huge "cognitive jump".
How i managed to do that it's really too long to tell. Well, i was still depressed but it was like my "mental visual " grew wider and wider, do you know what i mean? It was like having been living inside a small cell/box and coming out in the huge wide world all of a sudden. It was shocking 'cause i wasn't prepared for the experience. I felt like all of my skin was peeled off, ultra-sensitive and scared as hell. Thought i was getting crazy: my basic, obsessive thought was: "if i can get myself out of depression i can go crazy as well".
Depression was like a kind a heavy but somehow comfortable blanket i've been wearing for so long that i felt like i was naked and vulnerable without it.
I felt like if i was to continue on that route, things would have changed, but i couldn't keep that state of mind for long: i've been fighting with my partner all the summer through (saw me changed, thought i was going to dump him). The result was that i faced major stress while i was vulnerable and defenceless so that i had second bout of depression the following Autumn. When i was major depressed, cognitive thinking didn't help me at all. The life-saver was Tofranil which dragged me out of that horrible state of mind.
I know i'm going to sound too proud, but since you mentioned intelligence as a counterproductive factor, i feel justified talking about that also.
I'm not trying to boast myself, sorry if it's going to sound like that : hope you're not going to hate me now....
I swear it's the bare truth: my intelligence kind of prevented me from healing/getting cured.
The bad thing about depression is that the more intelligent you are, the least you're susceptible of getting cured by talk-therapies; this is my personal opinion so far.
I think most of us on this board have the same problem.
I've scored a high IQ also and i often had problems with all kind of therapies: it was like i was seeing trough the underlying basic theories, so that everything got unfolded and i felt like i was being mocked (difficult to explain i hope you know what i mean).
Back in 1990 i took Rorschach psychological testing that confirmed my "resistence" to therapies due to my intelligence. Please, don't think i'm boasting myself a genius, i wish i wasn't intelligent because i'm sure i'd been cured by now.
There's a positive thing about being intelligent though: it's creative-self-therapy: it's about finding a personal way out of the labyrinth with your creative intelligence, a tailored solution for you only.
I've been experiencing that, but again, i got scared as hell. I guess it was because i wasn't prepared.
If you pardon me the weird analogy, it was like building the roof without laying the foundations.
The foundations are social life, work, hobbies, sex and so on. I realize it's very hard but my personal opinion it's the first thing to do as soon as one gest better enough to do things.It sounds obvious, but it works.
I'm aware it's such an effort, but i think it's the first line of the agenda, top of the list thing.
(Of course you can't do that if you're too much depressed, you should be thinking about finding the right med then).
poster:Anna Laura
thread:6363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6399.html