Posted by Chaston on March 17, 2001, at 9:54:04
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
Tina, your experience really resonated with me. I can feel depressed and filled with self-loathing for weeks, then go to see a pdoc and report that the new medication must "suddenly" have started working, because now I feel just fine--and I do, for a few hours. I'm sorry to hear to that yours doesn't seem to be more interested in taking an averaged reading to get around the "appointment uplift" effect, which I would think experienced practitioners would be more aware of.
My personal experience is that I don't feel like I have many external problems--they are internally generated, which of course, makes me feel worse about myself for being weak and defective. So even though I seek treatment, I hate "whining" about my bad feelings (i.e., reporting my feelings accurately). However, I have been fortunate enough to find a therapist who is good at getting around those defenses, and realizes that coming across well in a session, and maybe even trying to please him with the efficacy of his treatment, is not an accurate sample of my feelings the rest of the time.
Maybe writing down your feelings in a journal when you have them, and sharing them with your therapist when you get stuck might be a good idea to try.> I put up a post a while ago about my bitchiness and hot temper getting out of hand. No one responded to it though and that's ok. There are bigger problems in the world.
> I'm just wondering why it is that I never feel bad on therapy days. I can never communicate these "hell spells" to my pdoc because I seem to feel good on the days that I have appointments. Same thing happens with the dentist. If I make an appointment because I have a toothache, chances are that the ache will go away on the morning of the appointment.
> Does anyone know what I can do about this strange occurance? I've been feeling pretty bad for a week now and it's gone beyond anger into severe depression and self-loathing but I know that the morning of my shrink appt, thursday, that I won't feel this way anymore. I know this feeling will return when I'm out of her office though. How do I handle this? I've tried writing my feelings down and showing it to her but she says that she wants to know how I'm feeling right now not yesterday or a week ago. Medication worked really well for a while but now it does nothing but make me sleepy. My life doesn't suck at all. I suck. Everything is the way it is supposed to be in my life and I'm pleased about that so why can't I just be happy with it? Mind over matter dammit.
> Sorry, got seriously off topic. Anyway, ideas on how to communicate these feelings in a believable way when I so obviously don't feel this way on the day of the appt would be much appreciated.
> Tina
poster:Chaston
thread:5081
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010209/msgs/5145.html