Posted by shar on November 14, 2000, at 11:09:04
In reply to Still miserable!, posted by Racer on November 14, 2000, at 10:46:24
Racer,
IMHO--
It's probably time for your poor SO to see this. If he is a part of your life, he may see it again. I encourage you to force yourself to keep a connection with him--not pretending to be ok, but TELL HIM what you are feeling, like what you just wrote--- "when this happens I want to with draw from the world, and even tho I still do something every day I am miserable and hate myself for .....whatever (feeling this way, being down, not having energy, whatever). And I want you to know it has always been temporary, and I will come back, and there is not much you can do except be with me as much as you can stand it."I know the "as much as you can stand it" sounds sort of icky (like he can't stand you), but I mean it in the sense that it can be stressful being around someone who is suffering, and you can do nothing about it. So, you give him an out, he doesn't have to stay with you every minute, and that is ok. And your withdrawal is not personally directed toward him.
If you keep him informed he will feel connected and not shut out which is a horrible feeling (being shut out). You can chat when you're up to it, go for a walk together and hold hands without talking, or give him an update on "How miserable am I? Let me count the ways." Anything to keep in touch with him.
Shar
> This is really getting awful. My poor SO has never seen this before, so he's upset by it.
>
> I'm still doing something each day, but not much. And hating it. Withdrawing from the world.
>
> Make it stop!
poster:shar
thread:2633
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2658.html