Posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 22:25:00
In reply to Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Greg on November 8, 2000, at 18:40:58
Havenmaster,
These words shall have a prominent place in the Official Lumptonian Herstorical Archives. They show wisdom beyond your years, gained, no doubt, at great personal sacrifice to yourself.The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator will not change a word (which shows great restraint on her part), and offers you kudos, and band-aids for your wounds.
RHHC and HPR
> AB,
>
> I thought rather than to deal with the words as individual entities, I would cover the avoidable subjects,
>
> There are three, Age, Assumption of Meaning and That Time of the Month.
>
> 1. Never assume a woman's age:
>
> Avoid phrases like "Is that a grey hair? or "You're not getting older, you're getting better" The one that gets me in the most trouble is "Those aren't wrinkles dear, they're laugh lines"
>
> The viable alternative in all age situations is "Your intelligence is exceeded only by your timeless beauty"
>
> 2. Never assume you understand what a woman means:
>
> The following phrases are an accident looking for a place to happen, just fill in the blanks. "But you told me to_________, or "But you said yesterday_________. The worst one being "If you didn't mean it, why did you say it?
>
> The alternative in this situation is always "Dear, your incredible ability to adapt to any given situation has always been a source of inspiration to me"
>
> Never assume that a woman's mood is due to That Time of the Month:
>
> Avoid phrases like "I understand dear, this time of the month is difficult for you" or "What can I do to make you feel better?" The time of the month is not the problem, you are and you don't understand. Despite your best efforts, you will say something that will make her cry. PMS really does mean "Putting up with Men's shit", get used to it.
>
> There is no alternative here. You can't win and you'll only make things worse by trying.
>
> I hope this helps in some way to keep your time in the dog house to a minimum. As I think of more to share with you, I will pass it on.
>
> Alwaye remember that Women are God's greatest and most wonderful creations. Treat them as such and you will survive.
>
> HM
>
> There is no alternative here. This subject is taboo. You can't win, don't try.
poster:shar
thread:1864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2340.html