Posted by shar on October 28, 2000, at 20:53:09
In reply to THE END IS VERY, VERY CLOSE!, posted by Andre Allard on October 28, 2000, at 17:13:15
Andre,
All this time I thought you had decided to go to the hosp and I thought you were getting help/doing better. Jeez if I had known, I would have been bugging you to talk here.You have been gripped with strong suicidal thoughts for so long now, you must be in horrible pain. Thank you for enduring, persevering, living. And posting.
I read recently (and much to my surprise) that Lithium is supposed to be great at lessening suicidal ideation to a significant degree. Have you been on Lith? I know a lot of people hate it, but I think we are approaching the bottom line here, and what the hell? I cannot remember where I read it.
I think I read it in a book on suicide written by the woman who wrote "The Unquiet Mind" and she was citing some rather long term evidence for her statements. I am even considering it because of my own suicidal thoughts.
I've always wondered if we just couldn't go and be sedated for a week (sleep for a week) and get some relief and wake up and feel maybe better able to cope with solutions--like meds or something.
I hate the idea of you in restraints, but I don't know if I hate it more than you not existing. If there is an iota of hope, I would go for the restraints, so you could have bought time, and then tried whatever possible remedies still exist before killing yourself.
I also hate the idea of you committing suicide, and finding out you haven't bought yourself the peace or absence of pain that you thought. We don't know for sure what happens, and it's that gamble that what we're going to is better than what we have here.
The people you leave behind will grieve and recover. I will grieve too. The space you take up being empty will never feel right to me.
Before you do go, I'd like to know some things about you:
Like how old you are,
do you have kids,
what kind of work you are interested in,
where you live (not your address, but aren't you in the UK?),
what is one thing you can count on to bring you joy,
what do you look like?
Might as well go for favorite color too...
Write back. None of those answers may seem important to you, but they are to me, I want to know more than just the agony you've suffered.
I'm pulling for you, aa. Sorry if you hate it.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:1773
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1783.html