Posted by coral on October 25, 2000, at 19:52:11
In reply to New kick in the pants, posted by Dona on October 25, 2000, at 12:28:44
Dear Dona,
I am so sorry. No chirpy, cheery words . . .
Just let me point out the "if" in your message. Your husband "might" lose his job, "if" he loses his job.Life does have a way of assaulting us, doesn't it? I think that's the genesis for the old Gypsy saying: Don't hunt for trouble. It'll find you soon enough."
My husband is a Zen Buddhist and when I get trapped in the "what if's", and I've forgotten the Gypsy saying, he asks me to take an accounting, an accurate accounting of this VERY moment: Am I warm? Am I hungry? Is there a roof over my head? EVEN if I say, "Yeah, but there won't be a roof if we don't get the new client, etc...." he'll say "That's NOT at this moment." Even in excruciatingly painful times, such as the death of my father, he'll say "Yes, the grief is horrible right NOW."
The whole point that has gotten me through some of the most god-awful moments is that it's NOW, the unspoken truth is that it's passing, and to worry about the past or the future is futile. It takes great practice to master this and there are times I flat-out fail miserably, and using the Zen philosophy, that failure is temporary.
Besides, who says you have to be positive right now? Life's kicked you and it hurts, damn it.
Please take care, Dona . . .
poster:coral
thread:1564
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1614.html