Posted by coral on October 23, 2000, at 7:02:34
In reply to Really weird theory inspired by Reason to live, posted by Racer on October 21, 2000, at 20:52:49
Dear Racer,
Boy, did you hit the nail on the head! For me, when I'm depressed, accurately assessing what I'm thinking is one of the hardest parts. One technique I've found helpful is to consciously separate what I'm feeling from what I'm thinking --- which is some times VERY difficult to do, but gets easier with practice. It's easy to be overwhelmed by the feelings. As an example, just last Friday, one client requested additional work (more money - several thousand dollars) and another client rejected a $ 600.00 project. Friday was a moderately bad day for me, and had I allowed myself, I would've fixated on the loss of business rather than celebrating the newly gained business. I FELT like a failure and felt rejected. By forcing myself to look at it logically, I was able to diminish the negative feelings and concentrate on the positives. Candidly, though, there are times when the black cloud is so thick, the most I can do is hibernate, curl up some place warm. I also know that when I'm engulfed in that black cloud, I shouldn't put myself some place where I could harm my business ---- based on exactly what you said, the non-verbal clues I'd be sending out would be as black as coal, in spite of the positive words I'd be uttering.
But, a strange thing happened a few weeks ago - when this depressive episode hit, I decided I'd "tough it out" and force myself to make marketing calls. Even though I was physically trembling, could barely dial the telephone, everyone I called responded positively and we picked up three new accounts. Jokingly, my business partner said I should make more marketing calls when I was depressed since I was so successful. So, I'm confused as hell about what happened that day. The only explanation I can come up with so far is that my timing was serendipitous. The clients needed and wanted what I was marketing and the positive results had nothing to do with my "successful" selling abilities that day. Sorry for rambling . . .I guess I don't ignore any feelings, especially when I'm depressed. Frankly, some of my perceptions when depressed were far more accurate than those when I wasn't depressed.
You mentioned being attacked when you'd ignored internal warnings, feeling they were ridiculous. On that point, EVERY time I've had one of those warning bells go off, depressed or not, that I've ignored, I've regretted it. Fear can be an incredible survival mechanism.
poster:coral
thread:1421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1485.html