Posted by Cindy W on September 21, 2000, at 19:50:18
In reply to Re: real life instruction manual?, posted by Cindy W on September 13, 2000, at 0:03:49
> > Cindy,
> >
> > I have been in many hospitals with my mother in ICU, etc. I went through a breast cancer scare with her and she lost a breast, then more biopsies. I have done this mostly long-distance. I had to take a leave of absence for a month once because my mom was in ICU with liver failure in Florida and there were no other relatives so I had to make all of the decisions while my then-husband stayed in NY state.
> >
> > These are just suggestions of things that helped me get through. I don't like to tell people what to do. Take and leave what you want: Slow your life down as much as possible. Jettison the inconsequential. Think slowly and deliberately. Try to stay in the present. Treat yourself kindly, meaning do little things for yourself...physical comforts, as my doctor would say. Pick or buy flowers for yourself. Sit quietly, do something you really would like to do no matter whether you have time or not. Go to bed early. Understand that whatever it is, it probably doesn't have to get done right this minute or even tomorrow (a big lesson for me). Don't let outside forces pressure you; do things in your own time when you feel up to it. Step back from others' reactions to what's happening (it sounds as though you already are doing this.) Have patience with yourself. Understand that you may get irritable for no reason. Think out and respond slowly and deliberately to things that are very or too stressful. Follow your heart and your gut.
> >
> > Love,
> > allison
> Allison, I really appreciate your suggestions! Will ponder them and try them out. Love, CindyWell, just got back (500 mile round trip) from visiting with my Mom in ICU; sat there around the clock (except for sleeping a few hours in the lounge next to ICU). Whenever she seemed to need pain meds, I asked the nurses to give her some; whenever her toes were sticking out of the blanket, I covered them; whenever I could, I talked to her and stroked her forehead and cheeks and held her hand. Well, last night I returned home (6 hour drive) and as I arrived, the phone was ringing that she had died in ICU, right after my Father and sister visited with her. I feel very sad that seh is gone, but glad I got to spend time with her. I realize how little I really knew her and feel sad also for that. I do appreciate the tips you people gave me about how to deal with the situation; it gave me courage to just be there with her. Love, Cindy
poster:Cindy W
thread:395
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/608.html