Posted by shellie on September 19, 2000, at 21:13:29
In reply to trust, frienship and all that garbage, posted by jane on September 19, 2000, at 19:51:17
Jane,
Last week my pdoc said to me, "I don't think you really trust me." And I thought immediately, "well, of course not, I don't trust anyone." But that didn't feel pathological to me--it actually felt fine. That night I thought a lot about trust, even looked it up in the dictionary to capture all the nuances. Trust is a very complicated idea. I learned very early not to trust and it created a hole in me. I think very young children need to trust fully and completely. As I get older, I seem to put less emphasis on trust and I think that serves me well. I get less disappointed and more pleasantly surprised. I am not suspicious, just not as vulnerable. I trust aspects of people, but never an unconditional trust. When I start to feel disappointed, I get the sense that I've gone down the wrong road.
I like this quote by emerson for several reasons, but I thought of it now because it mentions betrayal:
"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch. . .to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!"
I think by EmersonŐs standards I have already succeeded in my life. My standards are much harsher. So when I feeling like a failure, this is a good thing for me to read.
Hope you could identify with something--if not, maybe someone will come closer to what you are feeling. Shellie
poster:shellie
thread:586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/587.html