Posted by alexandra_k on October 7, 2013, at 0:15:41
In reply to Re: bye bye t » Poet, posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2013, at 19:32:25
i suppose... it is good that she didn't bail on me when i told her i was leaving. i mean... she seemed a little bit stunned. then seemed to take it as a 'goodbye' which i didn't actually mean... i was feeling things out... she is still seeing me... which is good. though i guess it will have some time to sink in for her. we will see if it comes up this week.
i am feeling a bit attached to her. i guess the whole me educating her thing is... probably a strategy for me having at least some control. it was hard talking about the drug stuff... but last week didn't take it out of me anywhere near as much as the week before... maybe i'm habituating to her a little, or something.
she seems to like me okay. my enthusiasms. how i started to get enthusiastic talking about philosophy and talking about getting to (perhaps) do physics next year... she started to say something last time then bit her lip... i think it was something about doctoral level study in psychology... she might be having me on a bit... she pretended she didn't know about the DID thing... and stuff... but how did the doc get that (to put it on my sickness form) and her not? that doesn't make sense. i don't know.
it is good of her to come with me to the med appointment with the doc, too. i've never had a psychologist do that before. and she was like 'is it okay to see me twice?' about seeing her with the doc... then us having an appointment the next day...
attachment always gets me feeling very very small and very very vulnerable. i... i guess i'm better about it then i used to be... but... i don't know. feels icky.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1051233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130930/msgs/1051809.html