Posted by itsmeshorti on May 9, 2011, at 19:16:44
In reply to Re: feeling abandoned by therapist or is it just me? » itsmeshorti, posted by wittgensteinz on May 8, 2011, at 3:20:30
Thank you for the responses. Witt you are absolutley right my radar is on high right now.
Once I was able to calm myself down I realized my thinking was probably distorted. That I was just waiting for that rejection. Creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I keep telling myself we just were not on the same page that day. I decided not to call her. Dinah you were right life needs to be lived between therapy. I need to let this go for the week. Besides if she was trying to "let me go" I did not want to take that with me for the week.
I think I even figured out why I was feeling that way. First of all not wanting to be rejected or abandoned. I have this need for everyone to like me. Second I felt very challenged in her questions like she was a parent.
I am feeling better in life but I am not ready to terminate therapy, I do not yet have the support I need outside of therapy to keep me grounded.
Yes I was trying to ignore the feelings I had for her. Trying to put them away I do not want it to interfere with the progress we have made. I was feeling ashamed and like maybe she was uncomfortable with it, maybe that is why she was talking about 'people don't just come to therapy to have good days'. But I also realized that trying to stop it was making me resent her. Kinda funny how the mind works. So I began to let the fantasies continue. :)
My biggest issue is I think too much I need to let go and let therapy happen, but I feel this need to control it and try to prepare for each session.
poster:itsmeshorti
thread:984799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984969.html