Posted by wittgensteinz on April 25, 2011, at 19:21:29
In reply to Re: Pdoc appointment - Dinah » Dinah, posted by wittgensteinz on April 25, 2011, at 14:53:49
My previous pdoc was a bad match - maybe just a bad pdoc? He never failed to say something provocative that left me upset afterward, he tried to interfere with my therapy and he was chronically unavailable i.e. a session within 3 weeks would be considered 'urgent' in his books - not very handy if you are having an acute depressive episode.
Anyway, I wrote a post a long while ago about it and I remember a number of people suggesting I find another pdoc. The problem with that is that each time you switch pdocs (other than for practical reasons) the chances of being pre-judged or starting off on the wrong foot are elevated so I decided it was better just staying with him and seeing him as infrequently as possible.
Anyway, a little more than a year ago I came across a special clinic specialised in people with personality disorders (PDs). It offers help with crises and provides a psychiatrist and so on. Before the previous pdoc I had never been diagnosed with a PD but within the space of the first 45 minute session he came to the conclusion that I have borderline PD (low functioning and probably psychoanalytically untreatable - fortunately my therapist disagreed). At the time I wasn't very happy about this because I didn't feel he asked the questions he really needed to in order to establish this and it's not really the kind of diagnosis you should give someone on a gut feeling.
So this clinic seemed like a good alternative to searching for another private pdoc (all pdocs where I live are covered by insurance). Finally I had my intake a few weeks ago. I saw a clinical psychologist for several long intake sessions and by the end was rather dreading what label might be put on me this time. Anyway, the BPD label was lifted ("no you definitely don't have borderline") and pretty much the same diagnosis was made as that prior the previous pdoc - oh and 'attachment disorder' was added to the list. Fine - but then I thought "but if I don't strictly speaking have a PD can I still receive services from this clinic?" - that would be annoying after a year long waiting list - and then what - would I have to go back to the previous pdoc again? Anyway, that fortunately isn't a problem (I'm guessing because of the history of sui and the attachment disorder) and now she has matched me up with a "not too provocative" pdoc.
So in just over a week I have my appointment - exciting as it was my primary motivation for getting a referral to the clinic. I'm not too interested in taking regular meds (ADs) but it would be nice if I can get something during the 'acute episodes' (fortunately I haven't had them often the last 2 years - but when I do, it's hard without anything to soften it) and maybe I can finally get something for the anxiety (previous pdoc insisted it was 'worry' not anxiety grrr).
I guess I've learned to take the DSM (and pdocs for that matter) with a pinch of salt. The question "what's wrong with me?" used to preoccupy me but now I feel rather at peace with it. There probably is no simple answer.
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
thread:983541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983731.html