Posted by pegasus on April 4, 2011, at 11:43:47
In reply to Lost, posted by Annabelle Smith on April 3, 2011, at 20:30:51
Here's what I'm pretty sure about, from your posts, and my own experience:
1. You are not fine. You are not making all of this up. You are not a fake.
2. You have a right to feel whatever you feel.
3. Transference involves real feelings about real relationships. It may be that your relationship with your T triggers feelings from past relationships, which you then unconsciously bring forward and apply also to this relationships. That is transference, and it involves feelings that are as real as real. There is nothing fake about transference, or it's not transference.
4. And . . . your relationship can, separately and in addition to the transference, involve real attachment. What you describe about your fantasies and previous attachments to male figures sounds like you desperately need someone to attach to, who will take care of you in some way. You're casting about for the security that that brings. You create elaborate fantasies where someone would *have* to take care of you. You come to depend desperately on casual relationships. So, in my mind, that means that you are missing something from earlier caregiver attachment relationships, which you are desperately seeking to find in your relationships now. No better place to find it than with a T, IMHO. Nothing wrong with being in that place, either. Many of us have been there.
- P
poster:pegasus
thread:981888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981944.html