Posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 8:51:54
In reply to so depressed, posted by Annabelle Smith on March 31, 2011, at 22:58:35
Annabelle, before I started therapy I knew someone who quit her job and moved several hundred miles when her therapist moved. At the time I thought it was very strange and unhealthy. Now I understand. My therapist said he thought it would be strange and unhealthy before he was in long term therapy with me, but that after he did understand.
What I don't quite understand is the intense anger and suicidal feelings. You have a choice. No one is making you stay or making you go. You have two very good opportunities, either of which has its good and bad points. I understand you can continue your studies where you are but not with as much prestige?
Again, I wonder if you've looked into the possibilities of medication. It's terrible to see you in so much pain when the choices are both so positive. It makes me worry about what will happen in those inevitable times they aren't.
I think if you term your attachment to your therapist in terms of increased suicidality, it's likely that those who care about you would think it's better for you to leave. You aren't sharing them the positives of therapy. Are there positives? Or is the attachment the sole benefit? I'm not discounting that, just pointing out that your presentation may be affecting their response. If you phrase it in terms of how much your therapist helps stabilize you so that you can excel at school, if this is the case, and how harmful you think disrupting this positive relationship might be in terms of your accomplishing your scholastic goals, they may feel differently.
Truth be told, from what you've said here, *I* haven't gotten a really good sense of the positives. Many of us have been through intense and overwhelming transferential relationships with our therapists. But usually I can also sense the benefits that are coming from the therapy.
Deep breaths. Relax. Do you have any DBT training? This would be the time to use it.
There is no right or wrong answer, only what is right or wrong for you. Imagine your career and life pattern that will arise from either decision. Which is more appealing to you? Do you think you can manage the program that's far away from where you are? Are you functional at school?
In either case, might it not be a good idea to consult with a psychopharmacologist? This constant stimulation to your nervous system can't be at all good for you, no matter whether you stay or go.
I know when you're young, it seems as if every fork in the path is a life or death decision. I think when you get older you realize that whichever path you choose, you can make decisions now and in the future to make decisions that will lead to a good enough journey to your ultimate destination.
Step back. Calm breaths. Does your chosen profession call for calm and professional judgement? Draw on that.
You will be ok. No matter which choice you make. Not everyone needs to go to the most prestigious programs. People are perfectly happy in all sorts of life paths. Which is the path you wish to choose? And don't worry that it has to be the perfect decision and the rest of your life will be blighted if you get it wrong. Life isn't really that simple.
poster:Dinah
thread:981607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981628.html