Posted by pegasus on February 28, 2011, at 12:19:11
So, last night I was dreaming about talking about bikes with my T (we both are avid riders IRL). In the dream I was looking innocently at some bike components. Suddenly, they turned into a gun, which was pointed directly at my forehead (actually touching my head). I looked up to realize that it was my T holding this gun to my head. I was sure he was going to kill me. The whole thing was so terrifying and sudden (in the actual dream, the whole thing took a fraction of a second) that it woke me up. I was pretty shaken.
Now, yes, I have ambivalence about being in therapy, and part of that is related to an ex-T suddenly moving away, leaving me devastated. The vast majority of my work with my current T, so far, has been around coming to terms with the fact that getting into this type of relationship again involves some big risks. I had thought I was getting to a place where I was more or less deciding to risk it. But clearly, my unconscious isn't so thrilled about that.
I'm pondering whether to bring up this image with my T. We've been over and over this territory, in other ways, over the past few months, so I'm leaning toward keeping it to myself. I feel like I'm saying to my unconscious, "I will take that under advisement." But then moving forward with this decision (to build this relationship) that I consciously want to make.
Any thoughts? Does this sound healthy/unhealthy? I admit that I'm still a bit shaken up by the whole thing.
- P
poster:pegasus
thread:979904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/979904.html