Posted by rnny on February 23, 2010, at 14:47:49
Let me explain.I don't have much of a support network and one of those reasons is because I have deficiencies in forming and maintaining relationships. One major reason I am in therapy. Because I don't have any real support system, people who have no reason or right to, become "more important" to me than they should and I wind up getting very hurt. Example: I have been (it is in the middle of being resolved but not there yet) having noise problems with a new tenant that moved in below me. I have been in the same apt for 9 years and while I haven't been the ideal tenant, I haven't been a noise problem. I tried to talk to the tenant in a respectful tone of voice and respectful body language (deliberately so) but to no avail. He got annoyed anyway. Finally I could have no more and went to the rental office. There is a saying by a famous doctor that people can be "rude, crude and inconsiderate". Well, the 2 people that work in the rental office were just that. Rude, crude and inconsiderate. Rather than listen to me (again used respectful tone of voice and body language- deliberately so), they blew me off and said, "he's a nice guy". I wasn't there about his personality but to be totally blown off was really hurtful and shocking to me. Whether he is s nice guy or not is irrelevant. I felt crushed and can't explain it. I then did the next step and put my complaint in writing that the man is up all night making noise and enclosed a doctor's note (not from a psychiatrist) but from a general practitioner stating that I was getting stress headaches from the noise. They igored that letter and I wrote a second one and enclosed a doctor's note from another general practitioner I see and enclosed it..still ignored. I enclosed doctor's notes that my health was being effected by this man not keeping the part of his lease that says not to disturb others because it is true I had to up my xanax and sleep medication.(I had been seeing one GP for a long time and another one opened a practice real close to me. I keep the 'old one' but also see the one close to me for minor issues like colds and such.) I spoke to my T about it and she said quite candidly, "I would expect you to be angry, not hurt. This is just a business arrangement". I acknowledged I knew that but felt very hurt, like the rental office was being mean to me. My emotions were really devastated that I was not taken seriously. I am going to talk to her more about if if I remember to. Whenever I go there I have several important things to discuss and sometimes things get passed over due to time constraints. But have you ever noticed yourself getting "really hurt" by people who are just business people? Not sure if that question is understandable 'cuz even I find it oddly put. But like when I go to the local grocery store I smile at certain people who work there and feel "close" to them even though I don't know them. I think I would feel really hurt if one acted 'mean' to me. That is what I am saying. Can you get your feelings "really hurt" by people who aren't related to you or that you have no personal relationship with? Thanks. This is kind of long but I can't tell you how hurt I was/am by the way the rental office dealt with me. I have had to contact a "housing advocate" from the nearest big city to help me iron it out. I live in subsizied housing which is as one person put it, housing for 'poor people' and I wonder if that is why the rental office was the the way they were. On the other hand I remember before I got sick, renting an apt. for $775 a month and on top of that had to pay for removal of garbage and sewer and water fees which were not included and normally are in apts. My apt. directly overlooked the tennis court. When I moved in I asked for a quiet location. She showed me that apt. and told me "no one ever uses the tennis court". After I moved in, I found out there was no playground and that the children in the complex used the tennis court as the playground. When I mentioned it to the rental agent she was rude, crude and inconsiderate and said, "well it is better than them playing in the parking lot" which was true but also which totally missed the point! So even if you pay high rent I guess you can encounter rental agents that are not considerate. Again, thanks for listening to me. I have been so shook up over this. I would like to think a rental office would be there when people go in and report that another tenant is violating a lease clause after the one doing the complaining has done their best to work it out with the offending party. To make nice, I know he likes pepsi and I left a big carton (24 cans) of pepsi outside his apt. door with a friendly note thanking him for what I noticed to be a reduction in noise and still....a few days later the rental office said to me that he had complaints against me! Ludicrous one's too. That I peer in his windows and "spy" on him. I never even look at his windows and I live above him. And that even though it is sub-zero weather with snow on the ground, I stand outside hiw windows in sexy lingeree. The office actually sent me a lease violation based on those ludicrous complalints that were lies to begin with. I mean wouldn't all of this upset someone?
poster:rnny
thread:937758
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/937758.html