Posted by antigua3 on June 12, 2009, at 20:17:25
In reply to Re: Support for psychotherapy patients, etc. » blahblahblah, posted by garnet71 on June 12, 2009, at 19:14:59
An alarm for me went off in your message--that you thought your mother secretly wanted you and your siblings to die. That just sounds like something really important to me that you need to talk to your T about.
My father was the abuser in our family, too, and my mother hid when the physical and emotional abuse was going on. She never tried to protect us, but that's because my father was pulling an even worse act on her. None of has can excuse her for her inaction, though. As a mother myself, I don't understand it, but I didn't live under the conditions she did.
But as I've worked my way through therapy, I've come to understand (but never excuse) my father's behavior. My mother says she didn't know about the sexual abuse, but when one is blind to what's going on around them, they can't see.
I'm just trying to say that I didn't know I had such huge issues with my mother until I worked (I'm still working hard on it, and it's certainly difficult) through some of the issues with my father. I loved, and still do love, my mother, but where in the world was she?
I find these mother issues almost harder to take, because I have no intention of confronting her over them. We have a very strong relationship, based on my hiding things from her, although I did get up the nerve to tell her about the abuse a couple of years ago.
I, too, have tremendous transference issues with my male pdoc. I specifically chose him because he was male and I hoped he could help me "resolve" (HA!) my issues with males. It's actually working OK, but not in the usual way I would have expected.
So I think you're OK; you're doing the right thing. You need to work on the issues with both your parents, maybe together or at different times, but identifying with the abuser/having transference with a T of the same sex as your abuser, no matter your own sex, is fairly common.
I may not be making any sense, but I had to post.
good luck,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:900556
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/900685.html