Posted by rskontos on May 15, 2009, at 17:40:28
In reply to Re: How It Went » Daisym, posted by sunnydays on May 15, 2009, at 9:06:05
Daisym,
When I read your first post in this thread, my initial thought was no, she isn't done. It just is hard and hurts like hell sometimes to be going through all that therapy brings up and out. I believe your therapist is probably one of the best ones around, so I know that no matter how hard it is, your interests would be served best by staying.
As I have read all the excellent supportive posts, I am thinking that I until we, ourselves, accept the past that made us who we are, we will continue to need our t's. We have so much that shaped us into who we are now, and that is often the default mode we can't but help to default to when things get tough. Like for instance, the whole ying and yang of therapy. The growth phases, the regroup phases, the feeling stuff phases, the really nice connected phases. For each different phase, hard or easy nice or difficult is one step toward new growth. Growth that is hard come by but deserves a celebration for having done it.
You have made a lot of strides in your growth with your t, and it is not always easy to see how far or how well. I too know that feeling like invisibility is the best option. and how too easy it is to sometimes long for the ability to hide and stay hidden.
I often long for the days before therapy when I was ignorant of who and what I am. When I was in a dissociative haze and all was so familiar.
I think your t relationship is reaching a new level and you are trying to define it with old language from the past. Until you get past this step it will be uncomfortable but one day, not too far from now, it will begin to feel like it fits again.
I admire your progress, grace under fire, and your commitment to yourself.
Hang in there,
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:895460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/895954.html