Posted by sadlittlegirl on April 19, 2008, at 11:57:05
I've been seeing my current therapist for a 1 1/2 years now, but the last couple of months have been really difficult for me. My latest crisis began when I told her I wanted to try eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to deal with the PTSD from being physically abused by my parents when I was a child. The main reason I wanted to do this is because one of my PTSD symptoms is pseudoseizures where I violently kick my legs and flail my arms. She's not trained in EMDR, so I started seeing a second therapist that was trained in addition to continuing to see her. My therapist told me to call her in between sessions if I need to talk.
Taking part in the EMDR sessions and facing the trauma of my childhood brought on depression and suicidal ideation. After about a month of depression that was making work and school difficult I saw a psychiatrist and began taking antidepressants on 4/2. The next day I was driving 55mph (the speed limit) on a main road when someone ran a stop sign and I hit them. I had internal and external bruising from the seatbelt and a sprained hand from trying to swerve around the other car. My car was totaled. A week and a half later, I started feeling a little better. The last time I saw my therapist was Monday, and she told me she would be out of town Wednesday through Sunday and would not be able to get any of my phone calls. At the time, I was okay with it. On Wednesday I saw my physician and found out that I have 2 fractured ribs from the accident, so instead of a few weeks of recovery, I have 6-8 weeks. Thursday my hopes that the pseudoseizures had stopped in response to the antidepressants were crushed when they resumed after coming off of the Vicodin I was taking for my rib pain. All the bad news all at once has brought the depression back as strong as it was before, with suicidal ideations, lots of crying, and wishing I was killed in the accident. I left a message for my therapist telling her that I am stopping EMDR indefinitely and would like to increase to 2 sessions a week. I called the national suicide hotline Thursday afternoon so I could talk to someone. This weekend my husband has plans for us to be out of town with friends, so I'll be distracted for the most part. It just feels like Monday is so far away!
poster:sadlittlegirl
thread:824243
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824243.html