Posted by raisinb on February 1, 2008, at 11:04:27
In reply to Re: this is rough *long*, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 10:20:51
Thanks, Dinah. I wish you could email me your therapist too ;). Or at least the acceptance part. I can certainly tell her what you've said. I have no idea how she'll react. It seems like sometimes she is helpful and wants to work with me, and sometimes all I get is a fight.
I keep thinking about what he said (that you have to accept someone before they'll work on change), and I don't understand why she can't see that. I don't understand why she thinks criticism and bullying will work, and I don't understand how she can possibly think that will help me trust her. I've told her several times that I'll work on myself, analyze myself, spontaneously (which I do--it happens all the time in good sessions) when she accepts me, rather than criticizing. I just don't get what she wants me to do here. I can't be a whipping girl, which is what this feels like.
And if she is fed up and doesn't have the patience, I am mystified as to why she keeps persuading me to come back and trying so hard. I've practically begged her to kick me out (because I don't have the strength to leave for good, and the relationship is not working) and she won't do it.
My most horrible private fear is I am meeting some need of hers to punish someone or make someone "see" something that she has in her head.
poster:raisinb
thread:810058
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080126/msgs/810086.html