Posted by rskontos on November 5, 2007, at 15:01:20
Ok so this weekend I was blindsided by my H. We were going to the stupid football game that I tried to get out of (more on that later) and my H tells me that not only do I have to deal with dear old dad at thanksgiving but he is going to get his parents and bring them up for an extended visit of which he will be gone for business and I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had already been dealing with suicidal thoughts all week and T had told me just tell him you can't go to the game. I dont do crowds. The game we went to had me switching back and forth with my angry teenager I guess that is who she is. I tried to tell him but I didn't win because me college aged daughter was coming home to go with us too. It was a family thing. Then while we were traveling up there he tells about bringing his parents up from his sister's home to visit the new house. His parents hate me. They have hurt me so much in the past that I am numb to them. And I am afraid what I might do or switch and God knows what might happen then. They are Greek and don't get me at all. They come from the old country and we don't speak the same language it is awful. My H also always sides with them. No matter what they do. I am so dreading this I am beside myself. I even thought about doing something to myself while they are here when he is gone but my son is here to and after the post that I think Daisym said about how it feels from the other side I couldn't do that to him. I can't make his childhood come even half way close to mine. But I feel betrayed by my H for doing this now when I am so close to the edge but of course he doesn't understand and of course his needs comes first. He refuses to understand how badly I feel now. He didn't live through a childhood like mine so no understanding exists in him. The problem with his family/parents is they undermine how I feeling in any situation and I had enough of that as a child. I refuse to take it now I am am adult and that will cause fights. How can I just take what they dish out and continue my own fight in life. Blindsided and blue now........rk
poster:rskontos
thread:793450
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071105/msgs/793450.html