Posted by Happyflower3 on September 26, 2007, at 15:07:05
In reply to Re: I don't think the EMDR is stoping » Dinah, posted by Happyflower3 on September 26, 2007, at 9:08:15
Crying takes so much out of you, I cried all through out my session. It hurts so freaking bad. We didn't get to any EMDR but we talked a lot. He said it was okay to call him and see him, he wouldn't want me to sit with what I was feeling for 5 days more.
I guess I just feel guilt from all of this. I am the one who fired him and now I am talking about the "secrets" he did to another T. I feel so bad that my T doesn't come to the gym anymore. My T said something about he needed to protect himself too. He was sure there are feelings going both ways in this. He said as a T, we are worried about what our clients tell our other T's, especially in a situation like this. Plus he said the bigger the ego, the more they are insecure.
I just wish I could call him and invite him to my concert. I wish things didn't end the way they did. I wish he wasn't uncomfortable with me and needs to avoid me. I just wish things could back to normal. I wish I didn't think the world of him and I wish it wasn't a bad thing. I feel like emotions are so wrong, that I shouldn't care, but I do. I wish it didn't hurt so bad. I wish it was okay for him to allow me to care about him and like him. I feel the way I do, I just wish he was okay with me caring about him. He was important to me and I wish that was okay. I miss his smilin' eyes so much.
poster:Happyflower3
thread:785159
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/785331.html