Posted by Happyflower3 on September 24, 2007, at 11:39:36
Just call me a cry baby! Dang! We were talking about the recent good stuff that I am intimidated about. Then somehow we got to talking about my old T and EMDR. Then I realized I missed him and my eyes started to fill with tears. This didn't get past my new T.
We did EMDR on my feelings I have for old T. I thought I was okay with things with him, but I guess I still have some feelings. I talked about how I felt about my T , and how I only felt that way about 2 other people in my life. We talked a lot about that and how my old T would refuse to talk about those feelings.
Well new T said he didn't realize how deep those feelings really were, they weren't the typical client sexual transference feelings. These were based on enternal "spirit" feelings that were present from the beginning. New T finally understood me on this. He said we needed to deal with this because this is on the surface right now. We did more processing and then did a gentle one at the end with a positive afframation at the end. I feel better now. I surprised myself on how just thinking of my old T after a long time of not thinking of him, that I miss him, and I finally realized it and it made me cry. I feel so sad about that.
I am pretty sure he is avoiding me at the gym now. I haven't seen him there for over a month. I feel sad that he isn't going because of me. I guess he is doing the right thing for us. But it is hard not to see him, when I quit with him, I didn't realize I would NEVER see him again. I always thought there would be the gym.
My new T told me because of the feelings I had for my old T, it prevented me from getting in deep with my old T and he said maybe I wasn't ready too either. Maybe he is right about that.
I told him that my T will always have have a piece of him inside of me. I need to go and cry, gotta go now.
poster:Happyflower3
thread:784845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784845.html