Posted by Dory on September 23, 2007, at 13:20:54
In reply to New T, posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 22, 2007, at 23:40:00
i had to switch from a T i was seriously attached to (quite frankly i was completely crushed on him) and go to someone new... it was all out of my hands. i don't know... i don't think i have dealt with it at all really. i just never looked back.. probably because it hurts so much still. i hadn't been seeing him that long and i want him to know how much i cared, but also the things he did that hurt me.
If you ended on a good note with the former T then that will help a LOT. It sounds like you did... and it is so very nice that she wrote to you. One thing i would try to avoid is writing her frequently because it can become habit forming and be unproductive for the new relationship... and eventually you'll hit a boundary and it will hurt. An occasional progress note or something would serve you better. i am thinking that's what i will do eventually, a sort of "here's where i am at" sort of thing.
one thing i did for the new T was write down what i had learned about myself from the former therapy sessions. i condensed it so that we would spend less time just rehashing and getting to know each other. i gave him as much inside track as i could.
i also had to really get it in my head that he was not the old T. He was going to be a whole new person. That was hard because i wanted my old T.
You sound like you are in a far better position than i was during this. You sound great actually.
on the getting to know thing... OTOH you might want to really take some time just being very light in the sessions, just like almost having coffee with someone... conversational... just to kind of breed familiarity.
that's what i would do... but i don't know a whole lot so take it for what it's worth :o)
poster:Dory
thread:784568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784660.html