Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2007, at 12:19:53
He freaks out with even mild cutting, but he seems to be fairly comfortable with other self destructive behaviors that will cause me more harm in the long run.
I know I've discussed this before, but I find it so frustrating. Thursday I went on a series of binges that successfully got me out of the emotional overload I was on, but that was very bad for me in other ways. I got no work done, I spent too much money, and I culminated in a food binge that left me in really bad shape physically. I'm just now recovering. I was so sick Friday morning that my husband stayed home in case I needed to go to the doctor's.
What he said was that I should return as much as I can, and consider it a mental health day.
This is irritating to me. I identified something I was doing that I knew was harmful to me, and I knew while I was doing that it was harmful to me, and yet I couldn't stop. I have the insight, which I didn't always have, but I need to use that to stop the behaviors.
Trouble is that the behaviors worked. My Risperdal had quit working. But these behaviors worked.
He did say something about needing to realize I could live through the pain, and not try to avoid it. T3 said that to me too.
I don't get it. Don't they realize that past a certain point, stimulation feeds on itself and snowballs? That yes, eventually my adrenaline system might wear out. But that takes time. I'd already been in this state for two weeks or so. How long am I supposed to live through it? Don't they realize that it gets to the point where you are just worn down and can't stand the physical sensations anymore?
I guess not. I suppose they'd say I can stand them.
poster:Dinah
thread:784644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070916/msgs/784644.html