Posted by crushedout on May 3, 2007, at 16:23:46
In reply to ((Crushed)) » crushedout, posted by muffled on May 3, 2007, at 16:08:31
hi muffled,thanks for the hug and the support.
yes, i talked to my t about this today and also last time. she's very interested in it but we don't really reach any conclusions. other than that i am feeling angry, and i have good reason to, and this is something i may need to go through. and right now i'm just trying to figure out what will be the most productive and satisfying way FOR ME to get through it. so maybe i *can* get to that forgiveness point (again), which i *do* think provides peace.
and my peace is the goal here. destroying my own life out of just pure vindictiveness is silly. hmm, i wonder if you can have a little healthy vindictiveness. :) i want that. maybe what i really need is just some kind of release, catharsis. i need to get these words and feelings out and do something really dramatic with them. not just write them down and burn them but something else! write and publish a g*dd*mn book, i dunno. something.
catharsis. i want to get it out of me.
you guys: she has NO BASIS for a restraining order. she's been emailing ME. do you get it? i'm not doing anything that could possibly be wrong. what are you people worrying about? Do you think i'm going to her house or threatening her life? i'm commenting on her personal blog that out there on the internet for all the world to see. i'm telling her my opinion and it may not be nice but it's not illegal to not be nice.
she hasn't even asked me to stop. what is all this crazy paranoia?
> I'm sorry, I a ditz and don't remember too much, but I am sorry that you in this situation. I can just feel the pain in your posts, and thats what prompted me to post.
> Were you able to talk to your present T about this situation? It is SO tough. OMG I can't imagine how it must feel for sure, but if it was me, I would feel so empowered to do what your doing, I would feel strong, and righteous, and justfied and satisfied.......but of course, like me, your a decent person, and so you posted about it, cuz you somehow know that maybe its not the best thing that your doing somehow....but DAMN, it feels so GOOD. Sh*t anyways. I really wish it was completely B&W. Alls I can say, is if there are ANY doubts in your mind about what you are doing....then maybe hopefully, you can listen to them. Cuz there just ain't nothing free in this life, and while this whole endeavor may feel good now....you may end up paying for it :-(
> I hope not.
> But it from what I have heard, it feels seriously, seriously sh*tty to have a restraining order put on you, and really, they not that hard to get.......
> I like you crushed,I don't give a sh*t bout your T, so you take care of yourself, and I hope you don't get burned.
> Take care,
> Muffled
poster:crushedout
thread:755132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/755554.html