Posted by Honore on May 1, 2007, at 18:40:12
In reply to Re: How do you know? » wishingstar, posted by Dinah on May 1, 2007, at 18:18:08
Hi, WS. Unfortunately, that's one of those questions (it makes me shudder to say this) that doesn't have a real answer.
No matter how you parse and weigh and even make lists of pros and cons, I think it comes down, ultmately, to what's in your heart.
My guess is thatfor all of (because of how we approach therapy and how many expectations and hopes we focus on it), giving up on therapy is incredibly difficult. Knowing when it's over-- from frustration, from having made enough progress for the moment and needing to take stock, or from being "done"-- can be either an abrupt, sudden recognition, or a gradual process of realization. But there's so much at stake, if its' gradual, if some line hasn't been crossed in an unmistakeable way, it takes long, painful inner conflict to reach a point of decision.
Lurching back and forth between pulling away and not quite being able to pull free as if against your will can be awful, I know.
I think you have to bear with it, despite that awful feeling of being close to some final knowledge-even for a long time-- without being able to grasp it yet. And over time, you may come to another feeling-- if you don't ever grasp that it is time to end-- you may, without realizing it, build connections. Or, you may feel at some point that you know, finally, that it is time to say goodbye.
I'm sorry there aren't ways of reasoning to an answer. You will know, though, WS, when the time has really come. It's uncomfortable- terribly so-- but perhaps life changes or some unforeseen possibility will give you some greater sense of it.
As least that's as far as I've ever gotten with it.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:754990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/755017.html