Posted by Honore on April 29, 2007, at 10:47:47
Nothing except gray,gray,gray punctuated by the occasional panic attack that lasts for a few hours.
Did I mention that I've become a zombie? I sit in front of weird white screens all day, and there's nothing much on them, but I keep flipping from one essentially bleary screen to another. I even watched four episodes of the bachelor on the ABC.com website. I've watched the Daily Show on the Comedy Central website. I've bid on about 100 items on ebay that I didn't want, especially after I bid on them. Luckily zombies don't care that much about winning auctions, so I didn't bid much. So I didn't "win" anything. So I'm a zombie and a loser. It's pretty dull.
And then I've been on the really firecracker-active Psychobabble site, reading so many posts that keep popping up there. The site is exploding with all sorts of wild stories and deep soul-searching. I can't keep up with it all. Also, as a zombie, I can't contribute much, cause my life is pretty empty, totally empty I'd say, if it were't sort of filled with gray shadows of some sort.
I'd say I'm bored, but boredom isn't a word zombies know. Cause it's just their essence to be bored. I think I'm zombified more than bored, although I keep having panic attacks. It's worse than being a zombie, mostly. But I guess I should be glad that I'm mostly just a zombie, and not horribly tortured, except during the panics.
This isn't a very social post. I'm not very social. I cancelled going out to a dance program last night. Couldn't face the whole thing. Now probably the person is really mad at me. I wouldn't blame them, but as a zombie, I can feel guilty, and lousy, but I don't have the energy to try to make it up.
PS I'm going to put this onto the psychology page, cause it isn't at all social.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:754387
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/754387.html