Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2006, at 12:27:04
It started off as an awful session. I put my check on the sofa and started to walk out after many minutes of pure silence that felt more like a power struggle, and he barely bothered calling me back. He was at his most impassive shrinkiness. And that was the last thing I needed. He was annoyed with me for not calling yesterday, and he thought I was angry when I didn't reschedule last Friday when he had to cancel, and he might have been angry about that. He admits that his previous session was rough, and he wasn't sure if he had fully put it behind him at the beginning of my session.
It didn't get better. He offered what seemed like totally insensitive advice that totally missed the point. And I kept telling him that I needed my therapist/mommy, not a distant shrink. Nothing seemed to work.
Then I happened to say, in the last ten minutes or so, that I needed him to reach out to me. And he reached out his hand to me and told me that I had to reach back. And I kept my arms folded and insisted that that wasn't what I meant. And he said he knew that, but that I had to reach back. He kept his hand out. Eventually I halfheartedly reached back and let him grasp my hand, more because I felt sorry for him with his hand outstretched.
But darned if it didn't work. All the feelings I'd been repressing of intense painful sadness welled up and spilled over. And I feel oddly better. At least for now.
poster:Dinah
thread:697319
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061012/msgs/697319.html