Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2006, at 2:00:10
In reply to Re: Psychiatric hospital records, posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 21:01:07
And then there are the incident reports...
I think the hardest thing of all is that when you read what they have written...
It is like they are talking about someone else.
A someone else who isn't even a person.I think...
What sort of person would I expect to meet after reading these notes?
Would I expect to like this person?No...
I would not.
I would not like to meet that person.
But it is me. Only it is not me. But it is what they think of me. It is the way they see me. Not meant to be what they think of me because it is meant to be objective and clinical. But what they see... Infects their judgement and shines through.
Admittedly, it helped a little when I started looking up the precise meaning of the terms and saw that I thought there was judgement in a lot of instances when there was not. But then I got to reading a little more... Theories of symptoms etc and then I realised that there was judgement in a lot of instances when I thought there was not.
Don't look to your notes to try and figure out who you are...
I guess that is all I'm trying to warn you off...
But then if someone had told me all this I'd probably still want to see...
Some kind of morbid fascination.
Reading the incidents... Sometimes I remember... And I match my memory to their incident reports... And I'm fairly horrified. It brings back the feelings you see. When I read about the incidents... I get flashbacks of them I get flashbacks of the feelings the distress the panic the inability to communicate the horror the fear...
That can be hard...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:686571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/687012.html