Posted by Jost on September 2, 2006, at 19:44:19
In reply to Dream 9/2/06 (long, not interesting), posted by Jost on September 2, 2006, at 5:40:44
Parr of the dream I understand.
The wolves may have something to do with a fear lately that people are knowingly being dishonest about their motives, or commtiment. Right as I woke up, I thought aboout a particular relationship, that bothers me a lot.
I mean that people see when you're kind of susceptible to manipulation-- or are perhaps even kind of insecure about yourself, and feel that you have to be the one to give way, in situations where someone has to- And they can be pleasant, and act interested, and allow you to have this faith in their intentions, as long as it serves their self-interest.
But as soon as it doesn't, they can be very cold and unyielding, and this veil of friendliness drops away. Or it stays, but they just walk away.
The image of the wolf came, I think, from this tv show that I had recorded and was watching. It had this vicious-looking black wolf that appeared out of nowhere and was staring through a door in one of the scenes. I was watching it before I went to sleep.
Yesterday, I wanted to be very clear and unconfused about a decision I made. Someone wants me to do something that really isn't fair to me. It's something they haven't earned, and yet they want me simply to give them what they want, despite their having acting completely in their own interest, often even just their convenience, despite a commitment to me, which was broken, and which was important to me.
Now they want me to go out of my way for them, and are not only demanding it, but claiming that I agreed to do it, which I didn't. It's kind of like they just are betting that I don't have the guts to say no, and basically daring me-- pretty sure, and waiting for me to back down.
Before they were here, I was clear-- but as soon as they came, my resolve crumbled, and this need to make them "happy," got stronger and more irresistible. It was incredibly demoralizing, esp. afterward, realizing how unable I was, despite the obviousness of their disregard for my project and their promise, to hold onto my own okayness, if I said no.
I'm pretty sure the first part of the dream with the wolves was about that.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:682218
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/682435.html