Posted by Racer on August 30, 2006, at 12:49:04
In reply to Re: group therapy? » sunnydays, posted by Daisym on August 30, 2006, at 1:13:08
My start was a lot different from Dinah and Jost -- I was actively wanting to be in a group, so I was thrilled when my T started the one that's going now. To me, it just feels good to know that I'm not as alone as I often feel.
In my case, the group I'm in is an eating disorders group, and for most of the year it's been going, I've been the only non-purging anorexic in it. That's weird for me, because there are some very different issues for purging versus non-purging eating disorders. It's also a problem for me to be by far the fattest person in the group. (Although I may not really be. We did mirror exercises one night, and I saw myself a little bit, I think. For a minute, looking in the mirror, I looked thinner than I usually see myself. But, I can't tell. Which is real? Which is distorted? Or is that a very flattering mirror?) At any rate, I do feel fat and lazy and a failure sometimes, because I have gained so much weight, but then -- I feel like that a lot anyway...
I'm also a great deal older than anyone else in the group. I think the next oldest is about ten years younger than I am. That is also kinda hard for me.
On the plus side, though -- it's such an incredible relief to be there, and hear that other people experience some of the same things I do. I really cannot tell you what a relief it is, and how much less isolated I feel when I'm there. I look forward to the group so much, it's like a lifeline for me.
So, part of the answer I think is to ask what you're looking for from the group? Some things you will almost certainly find if you're looking for them: other people with similar experiences, for instance; and a sense that you're not entirely alone in your pain. Other things are less likely, though. Group isn't necessarily the place to find The Answer to all your issues, it won't magically make things go away. But there's a lot of sharing what helps for one person, and some of it may help you, too. And there's a lot of understanding, from people who really do understand your pain.
Our group had an evening when we looked at pictures of one another, at various points in our disorders. Two of us really had been overweight -- in my case from antidepressants -- and we managed to show pictures of ourselves. We also showed pictures of ourselves at lower weights, which was kinda revelatory: each and every one of us who showed thin pictures could see the others are way too thin, as sick looking -- but none of us could really see what the others said about us. I showed some pictures of me thin, and couldn't believe that the others were saying things like "skeletal" and "like those anorexics you see in books." To me, those pictures showed someone who was, well, slim. Nothing more. And I'm pretty sure others felt the same way.
Anyway, I'm late today, but that's my story. I'm very much attached to group, so I'm always in favor of trying it. Often, for me, it brings up things I want to talk to my therapist about in individual sessions. Sometimes it's just my reaction to others in the group, but sometimes it's deeper issues that I wouldn't have known about if they hadn't come out in group, things that even my T might not have figured out needed to be addressed.
Hope that helps.
poster:Racer
thread:681263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681490.html