Posted by ElaineM on August 29, 2006, at 8:53:27
In reply to update/feeling bad, posted by wishingstar on August 28, 2006, at 16:53:16
((((((Wishingstar)))))) Nothing left but hugs to give really. It sounds like you think that maybe meds may help -- I think it was really good that you tried to seek out a pdoc on your own. And although it will hurt leaving Anne, I think it will be better that way. I know that she was someone you shared a big chunk of time with, but (as I'm trying to convince myself) it's the character, or quality of the sessions that ultimately matter -- you have been feeling so hurt and unheard by Anne lately. It will still be harder than hard though. When I left the first T I ever saw, I thought my heart was going to burst, even though we were fighting all the time and I spent most of our sessions shaking crying. I can't say much more without sounding like a hypocrite -- I know leaving her will still hurt.
I am glad though that you will be seeing Laurie, though it's too bad that it couldn't be more often. Have you asked her about networking the area? T's and pdocs often work in small circles. Perhaps she knows some -- and you could schedule the meetings and pick up meds on the days that you see her. OR even Anne -- she doesn't have any collegues who could help? I don't know, just trying to brainstorm :-)
I know what you mean about the "what am I doing" or "so alone" feelings. During my worst times I can't even look at couples walking down the street, and babies are sometimes a shot through the heart. And I'll ask myself how did I manage to make it through thousands of dollars of education at not find my passion for life? I don't know how to remedy that kind of hurt. It is hard to feel alone. I can't really take it myself. I'm sorry you feel something of the same. ((((((((((((Wishingstar)))))))))))
I know it's not enough, but you have a friend in babbleland -- a bunch.more hugs, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:680906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681116.html