Posted by Estella on August 17, 2006, at 7:51:08
In reply to I SCREWED up dammmit :-(, posted by muffled on August 15, 2006, at 20:59:58
Hey Muffled.
I don't think you screwed up sweetie. Really. Really really really really. Can you write down some of your concerns? I used to do that sometimes. Write them down and give them to t and let t keep them so t can have a think about them. Sometimes t's need time to process stuff just like we need time to process stuff.
From stuff that you have said it sounds like you have a good t. You have told her stuff and you were really scared about how she was going to take it, and she really pulled through for you. With parts... Sometimes t's aren't sure about them... Aren't sure about whether they are qualified to work with somebody who has them. Some clinician's feel the same way about substance abuse too. Especially when they haven't been told much about what do do if a client presents with those issues. Sometimes they are just told to pass the client on to somebody else who has been trained.
I'm kinda distinctive in that I don't think a t needs special training in how to do therapy with someone who has parts. But that being said I've found different t's to be more or less helpful... Same goes for substance abuse. I had one t who really freaked about my substance abuse. She tried to pass me on to someone else who was trained in it. Truth be told I found her a whole heap more helpful than the specialist substance abuse t.
It might be that your t has only heard about parts in the context of some fairly... um... 'out there' strategies for treating people with parts. What she may have temporarily forgotten is that she has been seeing you for... How long now? And you are the same person you always have been...
> Then she said it was cuz ethically she can't deal with such cuz she doesn't have experience with someone so separated.
Yeah. I've heard that one before... Maybe you could reassure her a bit? How do you envisage therapy changing from how it was progressing before? Would you like to talk about your parts with her? Would you like her to meet your parts? Maybe you could write a little about that and you guys could discuss it?
>She kept trying to make me understand that its all just me.
> I KNOW THAT.Yeah. I guess... She doesn't know that you know that, though. Maybe... You could tell her that too? How you view your parts. The sense you make of them. Why you think of them as parts. Stuff like that. She probably didn't know what to say...
> I'd just written in a fax as how I'm quite content with my people and we working things out and I'm much calmer for it.
So... You want her to help you figure some of that out. Kind of like... Intrapersonal communication (which involves a lot of the same techniques as inter-personal communication). I would figure that she would know a whole heap of helpful stuff about inter-personal communication that could be really helpful to you...
> Then I went off bout evil stuff and bout whether she has really experienced evil etc.
You kinda... Push her away a bit to see whether she will stick around or reject you. I do that. Maybe I'm projecting that on to you...
> I'm FINALLY being totally honest and straight w/her and now I freaking that it was the wrong thing to do.
Yeah, you kinda are... I guess that... Maybe you need to do a little more now. Tell her that you think she CAN help you and that you don't see any use for a specialist etc. Tell her about how you view them and the understanding you have of them etc. Tell her what kinds of things you think she could help you with.
It is kinda hard... I understand.
poster:Estella
thread:676871
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/677354.html