Posted by Tamar on August 10, 2006, at 18:06:00
In reply to The strangest things bother me, posted by Dinah on August 8, 2006, at 11:55:57
I don’t usually cry in therapy, and anyway I always have kleenex in my purse. But my therapist sneezes almost every session. He must have allergies or something. So he uses lots of kleenex and the trash can is over on his side of the room. But on one occasion recently I actually used kleenex from his box, and he moved his arm towards me as if he was going to put out his hand to take it from me. I tried so hard not to laugh. It was almost enough to start up a mother transference…
I agree that not washing your hair seems like more of an indication of your mood than anything else. I would be quite interested to know what your hair symbolises in your relationship with your therapist. I know you’ve mentioned before that he suggested you could dye it. And wasn’t there another therapist who disapproved of your braids?
I think women’s hair is often seen as a symbol of femininity, sexuality, and above all conformity. Have you ever seen the Salpetriere photos of ‘hysterical’ women taken by Charcot and his cronies? Wild, unkempt hair suggested not just an untamed personality, but also an untamed sexuality. It just wasn’t how women were supposed to wear their hair. Any woman who would permit herself to be photographed with her hair like that had to be ill, or so the theory went. Hair is perceived as an expression of the psyche.
I wonder if your therapist disapproves of the way you wear your hair, and perhaps sees your lack of hair hygiene as an aspect of a kind of ‘rebellion’ against conformity. And who knows, maybe there’s something in that, though I expect it’s more complex than it seems. Calling it passive aggressive seems like overstating the case. Unconventional it may be. But passive aggressive? Really? I just don’t see it.
Do you think it’s possible that your hair is something that belongs in a way to Emotional Dinah?
I don’t know what I’m talking about, of course, so please feel free to ignore me.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:674888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/675474.html