Posted by thewrite1 on August 9, 2006, at 19:07:48
In reply to need to tell***serious csa trigger***, posted by bent on August 9, 2006, at 17:02:48
I read your post about an hour ago and I've been trying to decide whether or not to respond. Something similar happened to me. I remember touching my 3 years younger cousin when I was very young (I'm unsure of my age). I'm able to forgive myself for that one because I know I was only doing what was done to me. I was abused as young as 3, so I just really didn't know any better. It happened again when I was around 13 due to pressure from another person. I feel tremedous guilt for that because I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't feel I could say no. I worry about how my actions have affected my cousin.
We used to be close, but I suspect he remembered what happened and has distanced himself from me. I want to talk to him and tell him that I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for that yet. Your post has inspired me. I'm going to talk with my T about this and try to draft a letter to him that maybe someday I'll send.
BTW, I don't think either of us are bad people. We were kids brought up in bad circumstances. Hang in there and I hope you will talk to your T about this.
poster:thewrite1
thread:675245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/675264.html