Posted by annierose on July 14, 2006, at 16:19:44
In reply to Giving Up (Trigger), posted by daisym on July 14, 2006, at 12:13:20
I'm so sad that you had such a hard week. I wish I knew how to soothe your pain with "just the right thing to say". I struggle finding the words.
Can you try to listen to your T's advice as just that --- as a suggestion. You are the member that is a part of that group, and ultimately, you get to decide how you want to handle that interaction. Or if you have a phone call from T today, ask him, "Did you want me to say xyz to sally?", because I don't feel comfortable, I'm confused.
I think talking to your husband escalates your emotions. He wants to "fix" a marriage and you are trying to decide if it's worth fixing. That's pressure, not the kind you need right now. His "Why can't you be cheeful?" --- sent shivers up my spine --- since when was he cheerful? I think I'd answer, "That's not my job anymore." It's not selfish at all to want to grapple with just YOU for awhile. You had to shove your wants and needs to the back burner for 40 years. Therapy is all about YOU. And it's so hard to focus on ourselves, it's uncomfortable, it's "proper/appropriate" attention we didn't receive as children.
I won't let you give up. You need to do this for you.
I won't be by a computer much this weekend. If you need to talk to me you can always call me.
Annie
poster:annierose
thread:667052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/667100.html