Posted by ElaineM on July 12, 2006, at 22:16:14
In reply to Dissatisfied with therapy today, posted by Racer on July 11, 2006, at 23:09:55
Racer: I think jealousy and envy and resentment are tough emotions. And often, feeling them seems to suggest the need for some sort of self-critisism, or punishment. I tend to feel guilty when I wish I could have someone else's life, or character traits, or intellect, or health. I don't think I'm bad for wanting. I don't think you are either. Now I try to think of resentment as regret, and envy as longing -- which may make me (or you) an unhappy person, but definately not a rotten one. (not sure if that makes sense. it did in my kookie head though)
I often feel "fat" too, when I find myself wanting -- whether it's food, or affection, or praise... I suppose that's the ED way of chastizing yourself for presuming you're worthy of all the things your heart needs.
I'm sorry it feels like everything is such a struggle. Don't have any practical advice. It's so maddening when you feel as though it takes you a marathon's-worth of effort to do what others do in the blink of an eye -- especially the "simple" daily things -- Sometimes (though I'd never wish them misfortune), witnessing others "happy" is just really painful.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
take care, EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:666234
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060703/msgs/666529.html