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Re: being manipulative versus honest » Racer

Posted by wishingstar on July 12, 2006, at 17:21:55

In reply to Re: being manipulative versus honest » wishingstar, posted by Racer on July 11, 2006, at 22:48:27

thanks racer.. you made a very good point. you're right, my reaction was "there is no good level of neediness". You're also right that I grew up in a home that reinforced that... my "only" "problem" as a child was that my parents were completely emotionally unavailable to me. It has definitely left its mark.

I talked to Laurie (T here) today about it.. I posted about that below. Unfortunately, she sort of reinfoced my fears. I'm "doing it wrong". I'm being manipulative. Well then how the heck can you be honest, ask for what you need, and NOT be manipulative? How is "I'm wondering if I'm being manipulative towards you, I'm upset, please call me" and expecting a response soon manipulative? Im feeling pretty terrible about all this.. I'm not sure I'll ever win. Ugh.

But my logical side, buried deep in my left toe, knows youre right. I KNOW I'm not a bad person. If I cant be needy and honest about that neediness with my T, who can I be needy with? I'm pretty sure I'm not being manipulative. I guess the next thing I need to accept is that my regular T just isnt what I need her to be. Yes, I guess that needs to be discussed.


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