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Re: disordered thinking, part 2 trigger » madeline

Posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 8:05:50

In reply to Re: disordered thinking, part 2 trigger » llrrrpp, posted by madeline on May 21, 2006, at 21:20:18

Maddie,
I can't feel this stuff yet. It's too much, and I don't know what I would do with intense emotion right now. The only thing left is my thoughts. I'm all alone with them, cognito ergo sum. It's how I know I'm alive. I agree with you that denial of feelings probably contributed to getting me in this mess, but right now I'm worried about the consequences of an emotional meltdown. I know where the feelings live. I also know that if I stir them up, a little probe here and there might be enough to cause a vast exothermic reaction, releasing much energy into the system. I'm not sure that the energy could be used for constructive purposes; I'm worried that it might destroy me. I'm pretty sensitive about recognizing the feelings, but I'm no good at figuring out where they come from, or what to do with them once they're exposed.


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