Posted by Frida on December 27, 2005, at 13:40:54
Hi---
I've been reading some posts about T's moving and abandoning their patients and i can't stop crying here.
The T relationship is so unique...
if my T were to abandon me I would be totally devastated, she gave me what my own mother didn't give me, I can't ever ever replace that...
I've seen her for around 5 years
she's left for a month and a half and I'm here terrified of the time ahead until i see her.
she did give me something to hold on to, something tangible to feel she'll be back and to believe that our bond is real. A CD she always listens to and a book that is special to her.
(This meant a lot to me)I asked her if our bond disappers, if it is real...she reassured me that of course it is...I need so badly to believe that.She told me i'm like a child that feels that people disappear unless I see them and that's why I can't build from session to session, because in between I panic. I can't internalize things.
now here I am, really scared , and terrified of so much staying inside of me. (she agreed our last session that I didn't truly tell her about what happened to me, etc) ..but that I hinted at it...
and now i feel terrified of it all staying inside of me forever.I feel i've wasted such a precious chance. I hope I still will have time- she told me that yes, there will be time..she's coming back in February..
but i'm here unable to stop crying and really scared.
It will be ok, right?
and she won't abandon me.....
Just the thought of losing her makes me cry.
Frida
poster:Frida
thread:592455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/592455.html