Posted by daisym on December 6, 2005, at 0:31:57
In reply to Re: Tokens holding their T-ness » littleone, posted by 10derHeart on December 5, 2005, at 15:19:25
Tender,
Have you read much about self-psychology? There is a concept of fragmentation that resonated with me. It seems that some of us have such a strong false self that allowing a real attachment, with our real self is super scary. The real self has a variety of needs that come to the surface with this new attachment and separation feels threatening and intolerable. The description is a panic that comes from the feeling of completely coming apart - hugely painful, almost deathlike in its grip. And there is shame around the extremeness (is that a word?) of this panic. Sometimes it isn't that we can't hold onto our concept of them, it is that we are truely worried that they have no thoughts of us, no way of holding us from afar.
Anyway -- the whole thing helped me a lot because I couldn't believe how awful the separation anxiety was. Shockingly painful.
poster:daisym
thread:581276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585977.html