Posted by orchid on December 4, 2005, at 7:14:06
I have a question which I have struggle with for a long time in my life.
What does loyalty to a person mean? In a relationship? In marriage?
I always had a confusing thing about loyalty. Sometimes I just can't seem to figure out why a husband and wife need to be loyal to each other.
But sometimes, I have found myself feeling extremely loyal.
I don't even know what it means to be in love with a person. Really, many people seem to be interchangeable. How can one person fall in love with one person and think of that person alone throughout their life? But I have also found myself unable to replace people easily when I tried it.
I don't know how I would react if my husband flirted with other girls. It hasn't happened so far, and neither do I flirt with other guys, but my relationship with my T was one exception. But sometimes, when my friends seem to like my husband a lot, or he seems to like them, even though they don't flirt, I have felt lot of anger. But when I think about it, I seem ok with my hsuband even having an affair.
I am quite confused about this issue. Anyone wants to share their opinion? I don't know if I am naturally a loyal person or not. And does fantasizing too much about a person fall into the category of unloyalty? I know fantasizing every now and then is pretty normal.
I understand the question of loyalty to a husband doesn't arise when the feelings are about a T = since that is just the way it has to work. But does it justify the feelings? How would you feel if your husband felt that way if he went to woman T? I think I would have been devastated (if I hadn't understood transference).
poster:orchid
thread:585316
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585316.html