Posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2005, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Poster's remorse again » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2005, at 22:00:10
hmm. i thought tabitha had a really good point...
> The thing to wonder about is what was so different about my regular therapist.
uh...
was it maybe that he didn't seem to mind so much about pushing you to change?
and... he was (fairly) happy to allow you to remain dependent on him?i mean...
'verbally' he fought it tooth and nail...
but in practice...i'm wondering if its about the notion that you really did think that he would be there and accepting forever.
with these other people...
there is a bit of a fear that they don't accept you... or that they will push you too much... that you will not meet their expectations and then they will leave.
sounds to me like...
your old t is a 'safe' option.
it always seemed to me
(excuse me if i'm off)
that with him there weren't really prospects for rejection...
but that with him there weren't really prospects for improvement either...but then you accepted that.
and wanted the security that he brought you (that you felt in response) over...
the harder way... which might have meant...
that you learned to internalise some of that.
i dunno.
just talking.but i think it would be worthwhile telling her that she hurt you very much with her comments about your braids and your immaturity. that you felt like she was judging you negatively. that it is hard to take that from anyone and ESPECIALLY from a therapist.
and that you need her to ease up a bit and be a bit gentler with you.
and then... see how it goes...
where there isn't much of a risk...
then there isn't really much to be gained either...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:583331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/585218.html