Posted by gardenergirl on December 3, 2005, at 13:13:15
In reply to Re: see! we agree! » daisym, posted by gardenergirl on December 3, 2005, at 13:01:14
Gosh, I wish we had a way to personally "flag" posts we want to follow up on but can't at the moment. At any rate, I think in another thread, someone asked me about if a client had ever expressed personal feelings for me and how I felt about it. At least I think someone asked me, d'oh!
At any rate, this did happen once a couple of years ago, when I was pretty much a novice trainee. It was a man very very different from me, and our therapy had switched from a CBT type approach to a more psychodynamic one over time. During this particular session, he appeared very uncomfortable and was hemming and hawing before he could eventually, near the very end of the session, tell me that he wished we could be "together." The entire time, I was just internally sort of "cringing" and wishing both that he would just spit it out in order to relieve the tension and that he wouldn't say it.
Once he did, I think, (I hope) I handled it with sensitivity and respect. And then I called my supervisor the next day to process it with her, since we didn't have supervision for a few more days. She was helpful in helping me sort through it on a sort of superficial level.
What made me so uncomfortable about this situation was my *OWN* issues with being viewed as a sexual being or object by someone, particulaly men. I really am uncomfortable about that, and it's something I've talked about in therapy. I had not yet begun therapy at the time, so I was very stuck in this issue without knowing much about why or how it was a problem.
The funny thing is, it turns out it was nothing sexual, and I figured that out rather quickly. This made working with this particular transference much easier for me. What he really wanted was a mother figure to take care of him. He was rather regressed and dependent, and had never had an adequate mother. Major abandonment issues.
So, that's my story. If anyone else I've worked with has had similar or sexual feelings, I have not been aware of it.
And I clearly need to do more work on my own issues in order to feel more comfortable dealing, in particular, with men in therapy who might view me sexually. For some reason, if women do, it doesn't affect me the same way. Not sure what that's about. Just feels less threatening.
Hope this isn't TMI.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:583665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584969.html