Posted by daisym on December 1, 2005, at 11:11:18
In reply to Re: sexual issues in session ***Trigger*** » B2chica, posted by Voce on December 1, 2005, at 9:59:47
Voce is right -- it is a biological response, completely separate from your thought process. Imagine someone shining a bright light in your face -- you automatically squint. Or you smell something delicious and your mouth waters. Or you smell something horrible and your stomach lurches. Your body remembers -- you walk, ride a bike and tie your shoes because your hands, feet and legs remember.
It doesn't make you a monster. It is normal, though very uncomfortable. It has taken me awhile to sort through this particular aspect of talking about stuff. What I learned for me was that arousal and fear are linked and my stories are still very loaded with fear. And in flash back mode, I can feel it all, I get really squirmy. My therapist wants to hear what I'm feeling, physically, not just emotionally. These parts of the memories need to be processed as much as the other parts.
I think it was GG who talked about her response to a massage, which surprised her. These unexpected and uncomfortable responses are a large part of why I don't like to be touched. But I've heard that body work can help.
So -- you aren't a freak and you should share this with your therapist if you can. Feels really personal and intimate though, doesn't it? But believe it or not, having these discussions can make it easier to talk about your sexual responses with your husband and how to get healthy about them. (TMI alert..) I would have died two years ago if my therapist had said to me "can you use your hand?" but now it is part of trying to figure out how to reclaim my sex life. It is slow and yes I still turn red but I can tolerate it.
I'm glad you were able to share that question here. It is an important one.
poster:daisym
thread:584138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584175.html