Posted by fairywings on November 6, 2005, at 10:43:56
In reply to Re: Depressing T stories » fairywings, posted by daisym on November 6, 2005, at 0:58:29
> My therapist describes himself as a "minimalist" when it comes to sharing. He uses metaphors but rarely tells stories.
I like that my T shares, and I don't want him to quit sharing, but some of the stories involve depressing topics like suicide. Last week it made me worry about the possibility of suicide among the T's and p-doc's in his office. I don't think he intended to illicit that kind of response in me. All the other stuff he talked about was more positive, more on looking at things differently, but I got stuck on the stories.
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> I think there are many philosophies about the value of telling old stories. Some therapists really believe in getting it all out and talking about traumatic events a lot. Others don't believe that reliving the past is useful or healthy and instead focus on coping skills.We've talked about how he does therapy, and I think you're right, he's into behavior changes that eventually change thinking patterns. He's not CBT though. I guess I will have to ask if he thinks there's value in talking about the past. I don't mind not talking about it, but it's hard to know those feelings are there, and not do anything with them. He does say not to pretend they're not there, or say that I feel better about something I don't feel better about.
As far as the stories, it's hard for me to see what's going on while I'm in my session, I don't get the feelings until afterwards. I can't really process everything until afterwards, when I have time to think about it. The end of the story, or moral, is supposed to be the part I'm hearing, but the moral is getting lost in the depressing stories that come before the moral.
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> I often complain that half my therapy time is spent on discussing therapy itself. I want to talk about my feelings for him, I want to be sure I'm doing therapy "right" and I want to know what he is thinking and what comes next. Sometimes I think I veer off in these discussions to avoid my issues but, I do know that understanding how he works and being able to talk about how it is making me feel, has really helped me to keep going. I think you should ask your therapist how he works, how he feels about retelling stories of your past and what his general philosophies are. It isn't rude to ask...I think it might help you understand his comments better.
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> I hope it gets easier for you soon.Thanks daisy. Everything you say is always so helpful. It seems like you think so clearly, and see things so clearly. I look to your posts to have a better understanding of things. You see things that would never occur to me.
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:575853
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/575967.html