Posted by allisonross on October 28, 2005, at 13:57:09
Hi, all! Newbie here. Think I am finally getting the hang of it (as untechnical as they come)....Thankyou!...I was drowning in babbleville, and I think it was Orchid....who threw me a lifejacket (thankyou, sweetie!) I am a dancer, singer, writer, and computers spit out nuts and bolts when I touch them (LOL)!! Lights flash off and on like a pachinko machine (unfortunately, there are no jackpots, LOL)
(What I have gleaned from life:)
Feelings are facts. They are NOT right or wrong. They just ARE. We cannot help how we feel, only how we respond (behave) because of our feelings.
We need to honor our feelings, validate them, and stay away (easier said than done) from toxic people (I lived in toxicity, except for 3 years in the army) for my whole life.
We are all precious human beings on the planet, and we do what we have to ..to stay out of pain.
Someone's opinion of us, is not OUR destiny!
Knowing the difference between OUR stuff and THEIR stuff, is of utmost importance (and will save you a ton of grief!)
I think the most important words are: I love you, I am sorry, how can I help you? (I also like: you can have anything you want, LOL)
These are just a few things I've learned. I'd sure love to hear from everyone here.
Feeling a little lonely (divorced after 31 years of abuse)....fortunately, my resilience has stood me in good stead, and except for that minor eye-twitch, I am doing remarkably well! LOL
For anyone touch-deprived (everyone is), (and who would love a hug from their t); please read my posting:
FINALLY! Rethinking the Prohibition on Touch in Psychotherapy (allisonross)
I've been counseling abused women for the past 10 years, because of my lifetime of abuse, and extensive research.
The statistics are staggering. One of the most important books? The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans (consider it 2nd, only in importance to the Bible).
For my whole (LOL) sordid story: www.psychiatricjournal.com. Entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse
My website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com
Faith-based poems of anguish, healing, hope and comfort. They came pouring from my wounded soul, after being voted out of a 31-year church membership
(Because I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse..yadda, yadda, blah- blah)
Something beautiful came from the ashes of that debacle.
My t showed up at the precise moment I needed him. I mean, what are the chances that a therapist who is an expert in spiritual abuse, a term I had never even heard of, shows up and lives 5 minutes away from your house?!
He taught me the most valuable words I'd ever heard: RESTORATIVE JUSTICE. This is what you did. This is how it made me feel. So empowering to someone abused for a lifetime.
Love and hugs to all of you, and I am honored to be part of this group.
For some reason (the computer stuff again, LOL) i cannot respond from home, so over the weekend, perhaps someone might e-mail me? wacalice@aol.com
HappyFlower. Still waiting to hear from you, sweetie
P.S. I've written my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice in the world).
(Amazingly,) I have a publisher interested.
So, enough about ME, what do YOU think about ME?!
Without my sense of humor, I would be drooling in a corner somewhere.
poster:allisonross
thread:572730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572730.html