Posted by Susan47 on June 12, 2005, at 14:42:13
In reply to Re: Transference Sucks » Susan47, posted by Jazzed on June 11, 2005, at 22:51:30
> I'm not sure I understand, are you in love with your T? If so, does he know you love him?
Well, of course he knows. That's part of the transference, it's so obvious. So is the anger. Maybe even the sexual attraction. ALthough, imagining it to my father is really incredibly yuck. A huge violation of my private person. Imagining sex with the therapist, this gorgeous yummy ultra-luscious brown-eyed piece of candy, that was different. That was really gratifying. But I couldn't imagine it if I didn't create the feeling that he wanted me too.. so I tried to create that feeling, this is awful, terrible, but I tried to create it with .. my voice. I never wanted to actually seduce him, but I wanted to feel like I could. Because that made me feel so GOOD. But that transference, I think I'm transferring that not from a parent but from a young adult relationship, the disappointment of the first sexy love gone sour.
I think that answers your answering machine question.
Of course I wanted him to call me back, but if he did I would've been mortified. Caught in the act.
Of course, I do have to see a female, I suppose. I wish it weren't necessary. I'm working full-time right now in a new job and I can't do that for probably a few months. That's really frustrating. And I don't know what type of therapy to go for, etc etc, I've been to see someone three times this year I have a limit on what is covered by my health plan, it's tough, you know. I have to maintain, just keep doing what I'm doing, trying to stay reasonably happy.
poster:Susan47
thread:511079
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/511543.html